Monday, September 14, 2009

"You have not, because you ask not"

James 4: 1 - 3
1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

Why is this such a hard lesson to learn? For me the problem is not that I ask with personal intentions, it is just that I don't ask. Anyone for anything! Why is it so difficult for me to open my mouth when I need assistance/guidance, but yet I will break my back helping someone else and never think anything about it?

The only explanation I can think of is mainly pride. But in addition to that it is something greater.

I look back to my younger days when I was fearless and never met a stranger. I thought nothing of going up to someone and picking their brains, getting advice, etc. I was a networking fool, not even realizing that I was really networking. But now, its a different story.

There is literally a glass wall between myself and the people that I most can, should and want to connect with. But how did that wall get there, and most importantly how can I break it?

I have a feeling now that reaching out to people is like pestering and bothering them, and I have a hard time getting around that. This comes from various sources and situations that I have had to deal with these past few years, but I am beyond ready to get over it.

This is my intervention, my 'AA' so to speak on 'breaking the shell.' Can anyone help and give sound advice?

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